Sandbox or Ricebox?

At the beginning of the summer, I decided to get Nora a sandbox. I wanted her to have something fun to play with outside. I imagined countless hours of fun in the sun... But it was not to be. Mostly because I found out that Nora does not particularly like anything on her feet. It's no wonder, as she asks to wear her shoes at every hour of the day -- even wanting to sleep with them on in her crib, to which I draw the line. In this, she is not her mama's daughter.

But before I filled the sandbox, I did some research and found a lot of people advocating for rice instead of sand. Something about inhaling the tiny particles of sand, and also that it is easier to clean off of a body than sand... I had no reason to doubt their expertise. So, I went out and bought a big bag of rice (cheap rice, at least).

It really was nice that it didn't stick to sweaty arms and legs the same way sand does. And I actually loved it... for all of two weeks.

Then, one day, when I pulled off the lid, I was met with a foul-smell and quickly discovered that the rice had somehow gotten wet and was rotting. A few days before, we'd had a big storm that seemed to send the rain sideways, and I'm pretty sure that's how the rice got wet. And I quickly saw why sand beats out everything else any day of the week. I'm only writing this because some of you may have seen those great ideas on Pinterest of riceboxes (like me), but unless you figure out a way to keep it sealed air tight, don't waste your time or money.

As you can imagine, I had to scoop out the rice and clean the box all up. Thankfully, Nora was content to play in the dirt beside me. It is now full of sand, and she still does not like to get inside. She finds other ways of playing with it -- like carrying handfuls over to the water table. Not quite what I'd envisioned, but if she's happy, then I am too.

         

I'm noticing how terrible the quality of these phone pics are. Gross. 

Painting

This morning, Nora and I pulled out the painting supplies. I covered the back of my calendar in card stock, and then placed that on top of her high chair (I wasn't sure if the food coloring would stain her chair, and therefore took the necessary precautions). I used this recipe for the paint.

With only one baby playing with the paint, the recipe was way more than I needed. However, I did save the rest of it in tupperware, hoping to pull it back out in the next few days. But you may want to cut the recipe in half. 

Couple of things: Don't be alarmed when you add the cold water to the cornstarch and it hardens like a rock. As soon as you add the boiling water, it will melt into a really nice texture. 

Ingredients: 

2 cups of cornstarch

4.5 boiling water

1 cup of cold water 

liquid food coloring 

Add the cold water to the cornstarch, and then slowly add the boiling water. Once its fluffy, split it up into several bowls and add some food coloring! Easy peasy!

Nora seemed to enjoy mixing the paint together in the bowl more than painting, but either way, this occupied her attention for about thirty minutes. Pretty good activity, I'd say. 

The Rudder of a Ship: Which direction are you going?

This morning, my husband and I woke up before dawn broke (too early!) and came downstairs to make a pot of coffee and sit at our little breakfast table to read our devotion together. I mentioned in a previous post that we are reading, Early Christian Letters for Everyone by N.T Wright as part of a new routine. And, let me tell you, it is amazing to see how just a little bit of time with God in the morning can change the entire direction of your day.

Which brings me to my point this morning: in James 3:1-12*, we see that the tongue is a very small part of the body, similar to a rudder on a ship, and yet it steers and guides a person, controls where they are headed. One slip of the tongue, and you can easily go off into an entirely different direction.

James warns that being a teacher is a risky profession. How easy to send your pupils off in a certain direction, perhaps determining the course of their life. It is one thing if that direction is a good one, but what if something you say sends them in the wrong direction?

My children (Nora and any other future children; I feel the need to clarify this) are my most obvious pupils. I am responsible for teaching and guiding them. So what is it that I am instilling in their lives?

The other night, I went out to Target for a quick errand and left Nora at home with Eric. While I was in the store, I heard soft whistling coming from the grocery aisles. In the refrigerator section, I saw the source. It was a young boy, probably about 10-12 years old. He was teaching his little brother (maybe about 5 years old?) how to whistle. I smiled at them and proceeded to pick out my food, taking my time, not realizing that they were waiting for me to move aside so that they, too, could grab the same item. When I realized, I apologized for taking so long but they were very gracious, especially for being so young. I was struck by how sweet they were to me.

Anyway, I continued through the grocery aisles, every once and a while hearing the same whistling. When it was time to check out, I stood behind them in line as the three boys helped their mom load their groceries onto the belt. And then, again, load the bags back into the cart. Meanwhile, their mother complained about them to the cashier.

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. I listened to her talk, and watched the boys more closely, wondering if I was missing some sort of bad behavior. But all I saw were these boys serving their mother quietly, as she was slandering them publicly -- and right in front of them too!

After saying that they drove her crazy, she said something along the lines that she had five children, but "at least I got two girls out of it all."

Oh, my heart broke! These little boys, hearing so plainly their mother's favoring.

I could keep quite no longer, so I spoke up and said that I had witnessed them practicing their whistling and thought they had been very sweet and well-behaved. Of course, I said this in a much kinder and friendlier way than I truly wanted. These same words, spoken in a different tone, could have been pretty vicious. I couldn't help thinking that maybe the mother needed to hear a few choice strong words, but instead, I tried to gently show the mother that she ought to be careful what she said about her sons. And hoped, at the very least, that these children heard me speaking positive things about them.

As a mom, especially, when you are in the house all day with your little ones, it can feel like you are quite stuck there. It is easy to resent the children that seem to "imprison" you. But every word out of your mouth can bring blessing or curses. What are you showering your children with? These young, moldable, and innocent children who look to you for direction... What direction are you heading them in? One that says they are a nuisance? A burden to you?

I pray every day that God protects Nora from my sin, but that is not an excuse to live in sin. Instead, I must try to show Nora each and every day what a blessing she is to me. How she brings joy and life into every moment.

If all we do is tell our children that they are incapable of doing something right, is it any wonder that they grow up and live in that? How much different would our world be if parents chose to pour blessings over their kids instead of slandering them? Maybe they would grow up to become adults who are confident in who they are and the good that they can do.

Just a quick disclaimer: Perhaps, because I am a mom, I tend to think of teaching Nora first. But the truth is, any time I give advice or mentor someone, I am "teaching" them. I am guiding them in a certain direction through my words. James warns that teachers are judged by God more severely, so the lesson to take away is that we better be careful what it is that we are saying.


* "1) Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters; you know that we will be judged more severely. 2) All of us make many mistakes, after all. If anyone makes no mistakes in what they say, such a person is a fully complete human being, capable of keeping firm control over the whole body as well. 3) We put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, and then we can direct their whole bodies. 4) Consider, too, the case of large ships; it takes strong winds to blow them along, but one small rudder will turn them whichever way the helmsman desires and decides. 5) In the same way, the tongue   is a little member but boasts great things. See how small a fire it takes to set a large forest ablaze! 6) And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is a world of injustice, with its place established right there among our members. It defiles the whole body; it sets the wheel of nature ablaze and is itself set ablaze by hell. 7) Every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, you see, can be tamed, and has been tamed, by humans. 8) But no single human is able to tame the tongue. It is an irrepressible evil, full of deadly poison. 9) By it we bless the Lord and father; and by it we curse humans who are made in God's likeness! 10) Blessing and curses come out of the same mouth! My dear family, it isn't right that it should be like that. 11) Does a spring put out both sweet and bitter water from the same source? 12) Dear friends, can a fig tree bear olives, or a vine bear figs? Not can salt water yield fresh.

James 3.1-12

The Challenges of Parenting

So, it's finally happened.

The thing I've dreaded (and, at times, fancied myself immune to) for months. Maybe even years.

It's a scene we're all familiar with: a haggard mom is desperately trying to rein in her wild children while out shopping, seeming to need at least another pair of hands (or two). And we all look on with a mix of pity and haughtiness, imagining that if those were our kids, they would not be acting out in such a way. At least, I have done this numerous times in the past - and now all of my ignorant ways have caught up with me.

Nora will turn one year on December 3rd, and for the first time on Monday, I was a bit embarrassed by her behavior while I was out shopping at a local craft store. She was impossible to calm and was throwing full-blown temper tantrums when she didn't get her way. Which, for her, was basically that she wanted to practice her walking or get out of the shopping cart. Still. I can't believe that I'm already in "that stage" of life, and how did it come so quick?

On the one hand I greet this phase with excitement. My Nora is growing up, and with that, she is becoming her own person. I am already seeing her personality start to shape. A few things I already know: 1) She is stubborn. She will force you to help her walk around the kitchen table thirty times, and if you dare stop, she then proceeds to flop to the floor, throw her head back (thereby hitting the floor), and then cry even harder. The little spitfire. 2) She is insanely joyful. The girl never stops smiling, and when my husband or I (or really, just about anyone) walks into the room, she greets you with her greatest smile, no matter her mood. Just today, her charm worked its magic and won me a free drink at Starbucks. The man behind the counter didn't stand a chance against her happiness. 3) One more thing that is worth noting (although, if I could, I'd write sweet things about her all day), she's a bit sassy.

This leads me into the second emotion that I am wrestling with. It is one of gravity. I am slowly becoming more and more aware of this new job title I've been carrying for a year and all of its responsibilities. I'm a mother.

When someone asked me how motherhood was treating me, for the longest time I would answer that it was perfect because I was essentially Nora's buddy. I wasn't disciplining or correcting her. She didn't do anything worth correcting. She ate, slept, played a bit... That was essentially it. So I just kept her company.

But now I am entering into the next phase. This phase will see several different faces, I know. I will have to grow and adapt and humble myself. And mostly, pray. Each day will present a new challenge as my husband and I try to discipline and instruct Nora in the ways of the Lord. And it is more than just a bit daunting.

But mostly, as I said, exciting.

I believe and pray that God will do great things through her. She is strong-willed and spirited. And as her name means honor, so I believe she will have to be those things in order to be honorable in a fallen world. She must have strength of will and character to hold fast to her convictions.

As I am struggling to harness some of her sassiness, I don't want to break her spirit. I know God gave it to her for a reason. Join me in praying for wisdom and discernment as we raise our children. Without God, we would fall short each and every day. Thankfully, he is available as our greatest resource.

Praise God!

Book Review: Don't Make Me Count to Three!

I've just finished reading a fantastic parenting book called Don't Make Me Count to Three. It was so good, I have to share. Trust me, you will appreciate this post.

My whole life I've been around a lot of young kids -- babysitting, cousins, church... I've seen a lot of different types of kids, and a lot of different parenting styles. I've seen some parents discipline in ways that really seemed to work, and others... not so much. I don't believe that this book is the only way to discipline, but there are so many profound truths that I think we, as parents, need to be teaching our kids. And, I am sorry to say that if I hadn't read this book, I would probably not have thought to use these tools.

There are so many aspects that I love about this book, and so I'll only share a few. But the main point the author makes is that the Bible tells us to "discipline and instruct our children in the ways of the Lord." As parents, we can't just discipline our kids without instructing them -- without telling them what they should be doing. If your child hits another kid out of anger, instead of just telling them that they shouldn't have struck out in physical violence, we should be teaching them how they ought to have handled their frustration. Kids - young kids especially - don't understand their own hearts half of the time. They know that what they did was wrong, but they don't know why they did it. It is up to us as their parents to help them understand their own hearts.

The author uses an analogy in the book that really resonated with me. She explains that when you are potty-training your dog, you might smack him on the leg and tell him that he did a bad thing when he does his business on the carpet in your house. So, the next time he has to go, he goes in the corner of the room - a less visible spot. But when you find it, you bring him over and rub his nose in it, telling him he is a bad dog. So the next time your dog has to go, he does it in a very private spot and then hides under the bed as he waits for you to find it.

The problem here is that you are telling your dog that he should not be going to the bathroom inside, but you are not teaching him where he should go. In the same way, without that instruction (the second part in the verse), a child will likely struggle with understanding the heart of the discipline.

The author mentions several worldly methods that many parents, even with the best of intentions, have fallen prey to. Tactics such as bribing, threatening, scolding, etc. The author makes the argument that our children should obey us because God tells them it is right. Not to get a lollipop, to avoid time-out, or any other reason. It is our job as parents to help shape and mold their hearts to be receptive to God's word, even at a young age -- especially at a young age.

Trust me when I say there is so much more to this book. Simply too much to write in a blog post without making it entirely too lengthy.

I'm not speaking from experience yet so don't think that I am preaching from a pedestal. But I think there are a lot of truths exposed in this book that we ought to be learning/remembering, so that we can be intentional in our parenting and disciplining.

I'll come back later to share how this all works on Nora. That journey will be interesting, I can already tell. My little peanut is already learning to exert her will. When seven laps around the kitchen table just isn't enough and she wants to keep practicing her walking, she crumples to the ground and throws a mighty fit. Right now, it's pretty darn cute actually. But I try very hard not to laugh (quite the task), because I know in just a little bit those tantrums will not be quite as darling.

Hence, I ordered a walker for her today to give mommy's back a break. :)

Here is the link to the book if you're interested: Don't Make Me Count to Three! by Ginger Plowman.