Who's Your Daddy?

I've often said to people who are waiting to hear God's voice something along these lines, "don't expect to hear his voice thundering through the clouds!" And for all of those times I've said something like that, I should be slapped on the hand.

Because this morning, God spoke to me. In case you're wondering, I will admit that it was not an audible discussion, but it may as well have been. Sometimes--or more truthfully, often--I forget that God does speak to us, as clearly as if we were standing right in front of him. The question is, are we listening?

I will no longer hold you in suspense. Here is the story: 

Last night, at the dinner table, Eric and I were discussing whether or not children are a product of their environment. We were able to look at several children we knew, their families, our own, and come to the conclusion that yes, children are surely a result of their environments. For instance, what are the values that parents are instilling in their children, and how do we see that play out in their behavior? What birth order are they? Oldest? Youngest? Were they sheltered and hugged every time they took a tumble, or were they picked on by siblings? Et cetera... 

Nora is a little spitfire, as I've said in previous posts. She will allow only a certain amount of cuddling before becoming frustrated with the confinement and trying to escape our kisses. Surely a result of how much we smothered her with love when she was a baby--and, I might add, would continue to be doing if she let us. Apparently there is such a thing as too much lovin'. 

Anyway, I went to sleep last night feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all because, if the above is true, then isn't it my job, as a parent, to do my best to control that environment that shapes my children? If I don't protect them from those experiences that could harden them to life, make them bitter and angry people, isn't that on me? 

This morning, God said otherwise. 

I was doing a devotional reading in 1 Peter 1:1-9. For the sake of making an already verbose story a bit more concise, I will only delve into the relevant part of the passage which begins like this: "1) Peter, an apostle of Jesus the Messiah, to God's chosen ones who live as foreigners among the Dispersion of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, 2) who have been set aside in advance by God the father, through the sanctification of the spirit, for obedience and for sprinkling with the blood of Jesus the Messiah. May grace and peace be poured out lavishly on you!" (1 Peter 1:1-2) 

The commentator to the devotional, NT Wright, starts right off the bat by explaining: "This is what Christians are: chosen; set aside; sanctified for obedience; sprinkled with the Messiah's blood!" So, then, is it not about our ancestry, social status, class, birth order, family name, or anything else? If we take what the Bible says to heart, then it's about only one thing: our identity in Christ. This alone ought to be what shapes us. 

Even more, Wright encourages us to remind ourselves daily of who we really are, or else we will begin to listen to the "insidious messages we get from the world around (that we are who we are because of who our parents are, where we live or how much we earn)."

...Seriously, could God's voice get any clearer?  

The world is always trying to shape us. Its voice seems, at times, much more persuasive than God's. The problem with not understanding who we are in Christ, is that it can make us give up on evolving into a more mature character and faith before we ever really get going. How easy is it to lower your own expectations for yourself, telling yourself that you are a victim of your upbringing? You don't expect yourself to be any better given the circumstances, and neither does anyone else. How easy to compare yourself to others who have had similar experiences, and feel better about where you are--but not compelled to go any further. 

Unless we know who we are and the designs that God has for our lives, we will allow our environments to shape us. Maybe without us even knowing it. 

But when we know that he has called us to greater heights and greater depths, perhaps we are more willing to live into those things. Perhaps we will actually believe we can reach those places and make the consequent changes in our lives. 

As a parent, I am learning that, although the environment that Nora grows up in is important, teaching her of her identity in Christ is exceedingly more so. If God's voice is louder and clearer than all the other voices around her then it won't matter what earthly experiences she has. This is what it means to become like a house, built upon a rock. Steady and sure, by God's great grace. 

The Rudder of a Ship: Which direction are you going?

This morning, my husband and I woke up before dawn broke (too early!) and came downstairs to make a pot of coffee and sit at our little breakfast table to read our devotion together. I mentioned in a previous post that we are reading, Early Christian Letters for Everyone by N.T Wright as part of a new routine. And, let me tell you, it is amazing to see how just a little bit of time with God in the morning can change the entire direction of your day.

Which brings me to my point this morning: in James 3:1-12*, we see that the tongue is a very small part of the body, similar to a rudder on a ship, and yet it steers and guides a person, controls where they are headed. One slip of the tongue, and you can easily go off into an entirely different direction.

James warns that being a teacher is a risky profession. How easy to send your pupils off in a certain direction, perhaps determining the course of their life. It is one thing if that direction is a good one, but what if something you say sends them in the wrong direction?

My children (Nora and any other future children; I feel the need to clarify this) are my most obvious pupils. I am responsible for teaching and guiding them. So what is it that I am instilling in their lives?

The other night, I went out to Target for a quick errand and left Nora at home with Eric. While I was in the store, I heard soft whistling coming from the grocery aisles. In the refrigerator section, I saw the source. It was a young boy, probably about 10-12 years old. He was teaching his little brother (maybe about 5 years old?) how to whistle. I smiled at them and proceeded to pick out my food, taking my time, not realizing that they were waiting for me to move aside so that they, too, could grab the same item. When I realized, I apologized for taking so long but they were very gracious, especially for being so young. I was struck by how sweet they were to me.

Anyway, I continued through the grocery aisles, every once and a while hearing the same whistling. When it was time to check out, I stood behind them in line as the three boys helped their mom load their groceries onto the belt. And then, again, load the bags back into the cart. Meanwhile, their mother complained about them to the cashier.

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. I listened to her talk, and watched the boys more closely, wondering if I was missing some sort of bad behavior. But all I saw were these boys serving their mother quietly, as she was slandering them publicly -- and right in front of them too!

After saying that they drove her crazy, she said something along the lines that she had five children, but "at least I got two girls out of it all."

Oh, my heart broke! These little boys, hearing so plainly their mother's favoring.

I could keep quite no longer, so I spoke up and said that I had witnessed them practicing their whistling and thought they had been very sweet and well-behaved. Of course, I said this in a much kinder and friendlier way than I truly wanted. These same words, spoken in a different tone, could have been pretty vicious. I couldn't help thinking that maybe the mother needed to hear a few choice strong words, but instead, I tried to gently show the mother that she ought to be careful what she said about her sons. And hoped, at the very least, that these children heard me speaking positive things about them.

As a mom, especially, when you are in the house all day with your little ones, it can feel like you are quite stuck there. It is easy to resent the children that seem to "imprison" you. But every word out of your mouth can bring blessing or curses. What are you showering your children with? These young, moldable, and innocent children who look to you for direction... What direction are you heading them in? One that says they are a nuisance? A burden to you?

I pray every day that God protects Nora from my sin, but that is not an excuse to live in sin. Instead, I must try to show Nora each and every day what a blessing she is to me. How she brings joy and life into every moment.

If all we do is tell our children that they are incapable of doing something right, is it any wonder that they grow up and live in that? How much different would our world be if parents chose to pour blessings over their kids instead of slandering them? Maybe they would grow up to become adults who are confident in who they are and the good that they can do.

Just a quick disclaimer: Perhaps, because I am a mom, I tend to think of teaching Nora first. But the truth is, any time I give advice or mentor someone, I am "teaching" them. I am guiding them in a certain direction through my words. James warns that teachers are judged by God more severely, so the lesson to take away is that we better be careful what it is that we are saying.


* "1) Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters; you know that we will be judged more severely. 2) All of us make many mistakes, after all. If anyone makes no mistakes in what they say, such a person is a fully complete human being, capable of keeping firm control over the whole body as well. 3) We put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, and then we can direct their whole bodies. 4) Consider, too, the case of large ships; it takes strong winds to blow them along, but one small rudder will turn them whichever way the helmsman desires and decides. 5) In the same way, the tongue   is a little member but boasts great things. See how small a fire it takes to set a large forest ablaze! 6) And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is a world of injustice, with its place established right there among our members. It defiles the whole body; it sets the wheel of nature ablaze and is itself set ablaze by hell. 7) Every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, you see, can be tamed, and has been tamed, by humans. 8) But no single human is able to tame the tongue. It is an irrepressible evil, full of deadly poison. 9) By it we bless the Lord and father; and by it we curse humans who are made in God's likeness! 10) Blessing and curses come out of the same mouth! My dear family, it isn't right that it should be like that. 11) Does a spring put out both sweet and bitter water from the same source? 12) Dear friends, can a fig tree bear olives, or a vine bear figs? Not can salt water yield fresh.

James 3.1-12

Expectation

This morning, Eric and I started a new routine. We are waking up early in the mornings, before he goes to work, and spending some time reading scripture, journaling, praying and discussing. It's one of those things that you know will be good for your emotional and spiritual health, but it is so hard to do. Getting up out of bed before your baby wakes up seems almost impractical. If she's sleeping, shouldn't I be?

But now that the time reading has passed, it's 7:45 am, and I am feeling wonderful. Refreshed. Excited for the day. Expecting great things.

I am reminded of Nora. Every single time (I can count on my hand the number of times where this has not been true) she wakes up--whether from a good night's sleep or a nap--she greets me with a smile. When I take her out of her crib, and we descend the stairs together to our main level, she kicks her legs with excitement. Sometimes, if I playfully hurry down the stairs, she giggles.

Every time she wakes up, she expects great things. Each moment awake means she might witness or be a part of something good. And she knows that. For a one year old, it could be as simple as running around the kitchen table as I chase her. Or pulling books off of our bookshelf. But this is all it takes.

What would our days look like if we approached them with that same childlike excitement? And how would they differ from the days where we have to pull ourselves out of bed, and methodically place one foot in front of the other?

Every day holds promise. I'm hoping that we remember that, the way a child does.

"Great is his faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh each morning." Lamentations 3:23

3DM Ministries - Healing

If you have been following this blog, you may have noticed a post about Nora's first bike ride on the beach. Ahh! Just remembering it brings a smile to my face. She was so cute in that little helmet, and sitting behind Eric on the bike made her appear so teeny. I wish we were back there right now, on that beach, fighting the wind with every pedal... Who knew that riding bikes on the beach was so hard? (If you want to see pics, go here.)

Well we are going back in October for a women's retreat. I am sure some pictures will result from that trip as well, and will be posted here. Come back mid-October for an update!

Anyway, in the bike post, I promised to share a bit of what I learned on that mini-retreat, so here I am delivering.

I am involved in a church plant here in Northern Virginia, and we are doing things a bit differently. It's a lot to say in a single post, and it would likely bore or overwhelm you, but the thing I love most about our church is its emphasis on discipleship. We believe that every Jesus-follower is called to be a disciple. Whether you disciple one person or thirty, God has given you the skills and grace to speak into someone's life.

For me, this concept was life-changing. It's not profound, but many churches in America have forgotten about how important discipleship is. And I can understand why. Most churches start to grow and when they realize that they are getting large, want to scale it back and find a way to get "small", with small groups. Only, it's so very hard to adequately get "small" once you're big. As our church is still very small, this is one thing it has been able to do well. (Sidenote: Big churches versus little churches, it's all personal preference in my mind. Every church will do some things very well, and struggle in other areas. This post is not to say that I think big churches do it all wrong - far from it. The discipleship that I am seeing come out of my small church plant is simply what is exciting me at this moment, therefore, you are hearing about it).

Anyway, our church plant *stumbled* upon a ministry called 3DM and it has proven to be so helpful. They've come alongside us in a sense and taught us how they are doing ministry and discipleship. So this retreat down in South Carolina was with them. It was my first time going down there, even though my pastor, his wife and even my own husband have been several times.

The retreat was very laid-back. We only had teachings in the morning, followed by time in a huddle (a sort of small group, though different. More on that later). And then we had the afternoons free. Hence, our bike ride on the beach.

But the teachings were phenomenal. Mike Breen, the pastor at 3DM, was inspiring and I loved how each of his points were so founded in scripture. There is so much that I could say about this short week, but I simply don't have the space or time, or likely, attention-span.

So I'll just jump ahead.

At the very end of the week, my huddle leader asked those of us at the table, what we would take away from the week and what we would leave behind.

During Mike Breen's teaching, I was shocked to find that he focused so much on healing. As this was a pastor's getaway, I thought it would be much more practical and how-to stuff. But, he spent a lot of time talking about our misperceptions about healing in the Bible. To try and be brief, he explained that, in the Bible, every reference to "suffering" deals with persecution, not illness. That all of our spiritual fatalism, the "God wants me to have this disease because he is teaching me something," or, "I've done something wrong in my lifetime and so God is punishing me," cannot be found anywhere in the Bible. That's not how our God operates. It's not about us at all. If it was, then those times that people are healed, we could say the same thing. That it is our faith that heals us. But it's not. It's only God. He alone heals.

Mike emphasized over and over again how God wants us well. How do we know this? Because in heaven, there is no sickness, no sorrow and no pain. How else? Because every single time someone came to Jesus in his ministry and asked for healing, he gave it. He never once said, "Sorry, this is your cross to bear." He always healed.

Now, obviously, we know that on earth, we won't always receive healing - but we do know that in heaven, we will be given new bodies. Whole and perfect. But should we stop praying for healing on earth, just because we aren't seeing it? Waiting, passively for that healing in heaven to come? To be honest, sometimes this is how I feel. I get tired of praying for the same thing over and over again, and being disappointed each time God doesn't answer my prayers (at least, the way I hoped he would). But the way Mike Breen said it is this, don't stop praying for healing until either A) you receive healing, B) you pass away, go to heaven and receive healing or C) Jesus comes again.

A lot of this wasn't new information to me - I know that God wants me and my loved ones well. But it was such a good reminder. And sometimes we need that. Now, as I pray for healing, I have joy again rather than just cynicism. Whether that healing happens on earth or in heaven, I know that it is good for my soul to pray and believe. And wait in expectation.

That is what I came away with from the week. So good, right?